The winners of the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton contest for worst opening lines.

Our friend Bryan Olive won the Science Fiction category for this:

t'Bleen and Golxxm squelched their way romantically along the slough beach beneath the three Sommodian moons, their eye-stalks occasionally touching, and tenderly belched sweet nothings like, "I don't think I've ever had such a charming evening," and, "Say, would you like to gnaw that hunk of suppurating tissue off my dorsal appendage -- it really itches."

Bryan Olive
Tustin, CA

Congratulations, Bryan!