Some funny tweets are archived at Twaxed.com (warning -- many NSFW):

debihope When peeing on someone, the element of surprise is everything.

digitaldean8 Programming is a lot like sex. One mistake and you could have to support it the rest of your life.

adamisacson Hi. I'm in a staff meeting. There are 83 ceiling tiles in our meeting room. And 8 light fixtures, with 24 fluorescent bulbs. That is all.