Twinkie recipes. Article includes the Chicago Sun-Times version of:

THE TWINKIE EXPERIMENT

Notes from duplication of Rice University experiment showing that a Twinkie will explode in 45 seconds when exposed to extreme radiation:

3:30:00 p.m. Sun-Times vending room is empty. Been waiting for this chance.

3:30:28 p.m. A single standard Twinkie is unwrapped and placed in Sun-Times vending room microwave for irradiation. Setting is 100 percent. Microwave door is closed.

3:31:00 p.m. Button is pushed.

3:31:19 p.m. Twinkie appears to grow slightly in size.

3:31:22 p.m. Halfway to theoretical point of explosion, Twinkie shows no further outward signs of change.

3:31:29 p.m. A 1-inch fissure opens in top of Twinkie. White filling pours out in slow stream onto microwave's tray.

3:31:38 p.m. Flow of filling stops.

3:31:45 p.m. Theoretical point of explosion.

3:32:00 p.m. Twinkie turns darker shade of brown. Bubbles noted.

3:32:13 p.m. Twinkie turns still darker. Gone too far to stop now.

3:32:35 p.m. Twinkie ignites.

3:32:36 p.m. Black smoke fills Sun-Times vending room. Quickly take wad of wet paper towel to pick up smoking Twinkie and place under stream of cold water. Fan wildly at smoke.

3:33:00 p.m. Uneasy wait for Sun-Times sprinkler system to go off.

3:34:00 p.m. Take wad of wet paper towel out of sink. Slowly open wad to inspect Twinkie. Break Twinkie in two. More smoke billows out. Place quickly under water again.

3:35:00 p.m. Sun-Times vending room still hazy with smoke. Somebody coming down the hall. Quickly place wet Twinkie wad in wastebasket. Walk slowly out the door, nonchalant.

3:35:40 p.m. Arrive at desk in city room. Smell of burnt sugar has spread. Several colleagues comment. Continue to appear nonchalant. Too busy working to notice.

Conclusion: Do not attempt this at home. Maybe at work. But not at home.

(Via Obscure Store.)